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Some classics from
Rodney to bring smile to
Why we miss Rodney
Because he said .... My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last
night she used me to time an egg. It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog
on the lips, yet she
won't drink from my glass! Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was
wearing a sexy negligee. The only trouble was, she was coming home.
A girl phoned me and said, ‘Come on over. There’s nobody home.’ I went over. Nobody was home!
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
I went to a massage parlor. It was self-service.
If it weren’t for pickpockets, I’d have no sex life all.
RODNEY DANGERFIELD COMEDY Classic One-Liners
I was making love to this girl and she started crying.
I said, 'Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?'
She said, 'No, I hate myself now.' I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a
two-bagger. That's when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over
her head comes off.
I knew a girl so ugly... they use her in prisons to
cure sex offenders. My wife is such a bad cook, if we leave dental floss
in the kitchen the roaches hang themselves. I'm so ugly I stuck my head out the window and got
arrested for mooning.